THE CORE SELF

             “I am a center of expression of the Primal Will-to-Good that eternally                                                              creates and sustains the Universe”                                                                                                                              from The Pattern on the Trestleboard, an ancient Masonic creed

Our Core Self is the self that inhabits our body when we are born and goes somewhere else when we die.  It is the essential “me.”  It is our essence.  It is the Self that is experienced when we feel loving and loved, when we are in a creative flow, when we make love, sing, dance, grieve or laugh.  We can experience our Core in deep meditation or when we thrill to the grandeur of nature.  The feeling of well-being after an aerobic workout is an experience of Core Self.

When we are connected to our Core, we have the experience of and a certainty that we are okay, lovable and worthy.

I believe that our Core Self is a focused expression of the Infinite Is which is the real and fundamental “me.”  It is the Life Force that animates us. 

THE PATH OF RETURN

               “I look forward with confidence to the perfect realization of the                                                                      Eternal Splendor of the Limitless Light.”                                                                                                                 From The Pattern on the Trestleboard, an ancient Masonic creed

The mystics tell us that we come from Spirit when we are born and return to Spirit when we die.  Further, they tell us that the Soul’s journey is to evolve through lifetimes to consciously embody and live our God-nature while being human.

The mystics tell us that we forget our Spirit-nature when be become human and get lost in the illusion of duality and the five senses.  They tell us that the Path of Return is to reclaim our Spirit-nature as human beings – to be fully human while consciously living as a “center of expression for the Primal Will-to-Good that eternally creates and sustains the Universe.”

THE BASIC WOUND

As we experience life in our family - first with parents then with significant others - we have experiences that meet our developmental needs and experiences that don’t, experiences that feel good and experiences that feel bad.  For example being responded to consistently and appropriately by our mother, especially as infants, results in a sense of well-being and a belief that I am okay.  Our essential Core Self is affirmed.  The experience of being responded to inappropriately or inconsistently creates stress, upset and a belief that I am flawed – unlovable and unworthy.  Those painful experiences as infants and the false conclusion that I am flawed is what I call the Basic Wound.  It is the fundamental alienation from our true Self – our Core Self.

We develop internal (physical, emotional and mental) and external (behavioral) strategies to cope with the pain of the Basic Wound starting from our first stressful experience.  Although our survival strategies serve us in growing up in our family, they also limit, and continue to limit, the expression of our Core Self and our experience of aliveness and intimacy.  Living our survival strategies can mean living with depression, anxiety, spousal abuse, chemical dependency, inability to sustain intimacy, sexual dysfunction, migraines and other emotional and somatic problems. 

Our unhappiness is based on and supported by the profound pain of the lie that we are flawed.

THE SPIRITUAL COMPONENT OF PSYCHOTHERAPY

Clients come to me because they are depressed, anxious, struggling with their relationship, or any one of a number of other issues.  When the problem is reduced to its basic cause, we invariable find that they are simply lost in the illusion of being alone, unlovable, unworthy, or otherwise flawed.  My job is to help them recognize the lie and reintroduce them to their Core Self.  My goal is to be a guide on the path of return – from “I am worthless” to “I am truly a center of expression of the Great Infinite Is”.

From that place their “survival strategies” from childhood are unnecessary and new possibilities appear based on the inspiration of the certainty that “I am Infinitely okay.”

Riley K. Smith, M.A., MFT